Bye, I love you, and always will.

Wow, I don't even have words to describe this day.
In fact, I don't even know why I'm posting this, because I know it will make me sad all over again, not that I'm not sad, but it will bring all the pain back. So, maybe I'm posting this to feel better about it, or maybe just to record my feellings in this moment.
Where to begin...
Five years ago, my grandma, Cristina, had a brain haemorrhage, and since then, she could no longer walk, or move her left arm.
She spent five years in bed, just watching televition, eating, talking with family.
On week-ends, her nurs, would take her, on her wheele chair, to the near by cafe, and on mondays, to have breakfast with some of her friends.
On the afternoons, she would be sitting on her chair, or lying on bed.
I don't leave in the same state as she did, but I would visit her often on vacations and long week-ends.
As you can see, this wasn't a happy life, but it was still life, and she had company all the time.
Two weeks ago, she got really sick, something related to the heart, and she couldn't breathe very well, so they took her to the hospital and she was well, not ok, but not that bad.
And three days ago, she returned to her house, with an oxygen tank and all.
By now, you'd think I was prepared for her death, and I thought I was, but really, one can never be prepared for something like that.
So yes, as You've already guessed, she, well, passed away today.
Sitting here, listening to the rain, I'm just regretting two things.
One, I didn't call her to often, and this is not an excuse, but the truth, it hurt me so much to speak to her by phone, cause she wouldn't hear verry well.
And the secund thing I regret, just yesterday, my mom called, and told me to call her, I really was going to do it but at the end I didn't call.
I love you grandma, you'll always be in my prairs, I'm sure you're in heaven now, happy with god.

(unedited)